Her story
Mandy Brand, 51, is a sales assistant. She lives with her
partner of 13 years
The
first thing I noticed about Steve was his friendly face and George Michael
haircut. It was 1988. I was more keen than he was at first. He was in the
middle of buying his first house, across the street from his parents, and I was
the older women who wanted to move more quickly. I think Steve was hoping to
have his bachelor’s pad for a bit longer.
We
dated for eight years, then got married in March 1996. A year later our
daughter, Victoria, was born. We’d been trying for six years and it was our
first attempt at IVF, so that was a great first anniversary.
Steve
was funny and we could talk about anything, but he worked too hard. Five days a
week he’d leave the house at 5am and not get home until 9pm. I worked every
other weekend so family time was limited. A couple of years after Vikki was
born, I started to feel very lonely. I wanted to move nearer Steve’s work, but
a year later nothing had changed.
So
I left him. I was just so lonely. We agreed that Vikki deserved the best
parents we could give her and we’ve stuck by that. We buy her birthday and
Christmas presents together and Steve has spent Christmas morning at my house
for the past seven years so we can both watch Vikki open her gifts.
We
are still friends. I often make him dinner or act as a go-between when he’s had
a row with Vikki. He drives me to her gigs – she’s in a band. We’re still
married, even though I’ve been with my new partner since 2002 and have an
11-year-old daughter with him.
Steve
is a fantastic father, and loves Vikki with all his heart. A man who would walk
on hot coals for my daughter is, in my view, a great guy. I couldn’t ask for
more.
His story
Steve Brand, 50, is an IT director. He lives in
Epsom and is single
Our paths crossed briefly at the start of a skiing holiday to
Austria in early 1988. The coach was pretty jammed by the time our party of five
got on, but there was a spare seat next to Mandy. I motioned that I’d like to
sit next to her, but my mates ushered me to the back.
However, fate likes to make things
happen and on the flight back to England we sat across from each other. I
dropped a bread roll and we struck up a conversation. I’m quite shy so the
girlfriend of my best mate (undoubtedly sick of me playing gooseberry) got
Mandy’s number.
It was passionate in the early years –
aren’t all good young relationships? We were both creative: Mandy is an
incredible cake-maker with a meticulous eye for detail and I was into
photography.
It took six years to get pregnant and
our relationship suffered significant pressure. With me working 12- to 14- hour
days during the week, parting was inevitable. We had one last holiday to
Disneyland in 2001, but had already agreed the relationship had come to an end.
Mandy moved out a few months later,
taking Vikki with her. It killed me to not be able to see my little girl every
day. You might argue that I didn’t see her in the week anyway, but being able
to check on her in her bed was still something I missed.
I found things difficult when Mandy
moved on, but time is a good healer. The reward is Vikki. I’ve been to all her
school plays, parents’ evenings and sports days, I collect her from school and
ring her most nights to wish her sweet dreams. She’ll be 18 soon and is a
balanced, well mannered and delightful (most of the time) young lady.
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